currently feeling: calm, slightly tired, wondering if i should write how i feel each time i blog, instead of using that weird 'Unky Mood' thing in my menu bar.
currently listening to: "All Day Long I Think About Sex - JC Chasez". damn you n'sync boy and your disruptive video clip!... oh thats better... "In The Arms Of The Angel - Sarah McLachlan"
Well, here i am, another day in the life of Jei Damani. hmmm.
I have felt that, along with my blog lookin rather choppy (ie. crappy, generic, 'everybody uses this silly blog template and i have no originality'), that i dont really write entries of such great quality. The tales of my friends are really the only articles i like in this blog - and they're not even finished (or for that matter, totally true).
This blog has been up till now something of a novelty; and i've been thinking, maybe i should write something deep, something personal, something beautiful... show the world what its like to be inside me mind.
Although the blog design revamp has been massively delayed, due to my ever time-taxing assignments and my desire to keep whats left of my social life, i figure i could write something a little more deeper than usual at the moment. I had intended to catch the 6:30 train home so i could watch charmed at 7:30, but my video games dont seem to be burning on CD fast enough.... oh well, the 7:30 train it is - that should be a whole 45 minutes on my mind typed out for the viewers pleasure :p
I currently think im the greatest stayer-upper on the entire planet - i managed to stay awake for somewhat 23 hours straight. But thats probably not true, and alot of my class members managed to do the same thing - without the big snack bag that i had, and without the wirlwind of whingeing i created for myself :p
That dastardley programming assignment proved more taxing that i expected. why the hell did i think i could start AND finish that on the last day before the deadline?!? I always tell myself that im never going to do something dumb like that again, but history proves me wrong time and time again.
well anyway, to commemorate this 23 hour grand feat of mental endurance, i thought i would spend the 24th hour awake chatting with my dear friend Karen, who i've been wanting to visit for soo long now but havent had the chance.
she was busy hanging the clothes to dry (it was the first time it had been sunny for such a long time) so she couldnt talk long. She thought i should go to sleep instead on talking to her anyway, cos i sounded kinda crazy :p well, for a person that had studied 23 hours straight i had strangley wide awake and happy; i was telling her about the idea having of sex with Connie the canadian girl i was talking to on MSN. I mean, WTF?!? who talks about stuff like that?? fortunately my bizarre ranting managed to make her laugh (Karen has such a nice laugh), but she thought i should get some rest or i'd get sick.
I found it really hard to fall asleep. I devoted what little mental capacity i had to find a reason as to why i should go to sleep... and that had me conked out faster that you can say 'munky-moo'. The moment i awoke i groaned - two weeks ago i had never been able to stay up and do assignments the entire night. I now looked as though i'd be doing that a whole lot for the next couple of weeks :(
[ah dang its almost time to catch the train, and i havent finished saying what i have to say! i'll continue this tomorrow, or maybe the next day - i should devote some time tomorrow trying to explain to Karen that im not a crazy boy wanting to have relations with random canadian girls. Adios for now amigos...]
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Ahh im back... Its now monday the 16th of May. Time seems to have really flown past so quickly...
recently i've been re-introduced to my cousin Jodie, which has come along great! well, she's more like a friend of the family than cousin but i've accepted her as part of the family.
We go waay back, i guess we kinda grew up together. She was more like my elder sisters close mate, and i didnt know her too well. I dont recall any conversations we ever had, though back in the day i was very simple minded and didnt have very many deep conversations :p her and her sister have always been exceptionally cute - i remember having a bit of a crush on her little sister Vanessa, but thats a bust nowdays cos she's engaged and is said to act way more mature than jodie :s
but anyways, we got to know eachother a bit and she's really quite cool. she speaks her mind even when its about really bizarre stuff...
"maan, i got this rash on my leg that was making it all purple you know? and well yeah now its been creeping up onto my tummy...its really weird aye?!? hey you wanna look?"
"erm... how about no..."
on saturday she came to her house with her son Andre and boyfriend Jel and they were really cool. the boyfriend also got along well with my mom and aunts which i thought was bizarre. usually they give the intial 'evil-eyes' to boyfriends/girlfriends.
jodie and i sat back and had a semi deep conversation about life; how she turned out the way she did, how she met her boi, and about her son Andre... i dunno, it was like we were always like that. and with the swapping of adresses, mobile and home phone numbers and emails, im sure she'' we'll continue being good friends.
deep conversations... that reminded me that i hadn't seen kristie lately...
Yesterday i was invited to dinner By Kristie and her family. I was so glad to see her; i hadnt seen her in a couple of weeks and i was starting to miss my friend (Karen if your reading this im going to try and visit you as well this wednesday before i have to do overnight study weeks again).
Kristie cooked a meal and she gave me a present she was holding for me since my birthday. We've decided that for my birthdays and christmas' K is going to get me each of the seven books from the 'Tomorrow, When The War Began' series by john marsden. I love those books and have always wanted to have the entire set. Thanks to K i now have no.'s 1 and 2 :)
Its so nice at her house. Her parents have strangely accepted me and welcomed me into their house. They're probably the only non-familial parental-type people i actually find it easy to communicate with. We talk about our days and i help them with any computer problems they may have. Gayle, K's mom, is a student like me, so we can relate on certain late night study session dilemmas. Her course sounds alot more fascinating than mine though.
something of growing concern lately is that they seem to like me more that K's boyfriend Aaron, and thats just wrong cos i dont suspect that Kristie and I will have a romantic relationship any time soon. She says im like a brother to her, and i dunno... i seem to feel comforted by that. K is one of those friends i wish to keep for a very long time, if not forever.
Ah Kristie... i remember when we first met... and that reminds me of another girl i used to care about. or maybe, someone i still do care about.
Im not going to mention her name here. We havent spoken in around three years now; usually i ask people if its okay to write about them in this blog. But... this thing is a journal; in a journal your supposed to write whats on your mind. And she's on my mind.
I've pressed hard on myself not to think of her anymore. But that hasnt worked so great. her memory always lingers in the back of my mind. Her friends are in my classes and they remind me of her. I cant find it in myself to talk to them. Sometimes i find it utterly ridiculous. There's not a day i dont regret losing her, treating her the way i did. sometimes i take extremely long showers, so long that the hot water runs dry, because the feeling it gives me - the inability to think about the world around you, the ability to wash all your sorrows down the drain - helps to keep the skeletons in my closet.
i've always thought that guys are naturally morons, and im a perfect example of this theory. I had a chance with the nicest, most polite, most 'right' girl i have ever met, and i totally messed it up. Till this day it remains one of the worst experiences i've ever had - and i think its reverted me back to shy mode, i notice it especially at uni.
I've wanted to talk to her so badly for such a long time. But now, when i think about it, what would i say? the thought of it makes me cold; i find it really un-nerving [is that a word??]. i figure that anything coming from me would make her sad. To see me, hear me, sense me... i remember that sad expression on her face...
anyways, i feel i could use one of those long showers right about now. im at uni though, and my gym membership expired a couple of days ago, so no useable showers in sight. so i'll have to close with a portion of this Sarah McLachlan song that seems to fit the mood..
"...Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it ok
There's always some reason to feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction, oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
They may be empty and weightless, and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight...."
...and if you were wondering - "why watch charmed ya big girly-girl?" - initially i had a massive crush on Alyssa Milano, tee hee yeah she mad it into my cutey celebrity list ;) but her power over me in waning, so today i wanted to watch it because the band 'The Donnas' are going to make a guest appearance. I saw them on the ad and i remember Fia telling me her brother thought they were cute. I wanted to see if that was true, so then maybe they can replace Alyssa. They have a catchy song, maybe that will help?
dude; i gotta get a girlfriend... ;p
currently listening to: "All Day Long I Think About Sex - JC Chasez". damn you n'sync boy and your disruptive video clip!... oh thats better... "In The Arms Of The Angel - Sarah McLachlan"
Well, here i am, another day in the life of Jei Damani. hmmm.
I have felt that, along with my blog lookin rather choppy (ie. crappy, generic, 'everybody uses this silly blog template and i have no originality'), that i dont really write entries of such great quality. The tales of my friends are really the only articles i like in this blog - and they're not even finished (or for that matter, totally true).
This blog has been up till now something of a novelty; and i've been thinking, maybe i should write something deep, something personal, something beautiful... show the world what its like to be inside me mind.
Although the blog design revamp has been massively delayed, due to my ever time-taxing assignments and my desire to keep whats left of my social life, i figure i could write something a little more deeper than usual at the moment. I had intended to catch the 6:30 train home so i could watch charmed at 7:30, but my video games dont seem to be burning on CD fast enough.... oh well, the 7:30 train it is - that should be a whole 45 minutes on my mind typed out for the viewers pleasure :p
I currently think im the greatest stayer-upper on the entire planet - i managed to stay awake for somewhat 23 hours straight. But thats probably not true, and alot of my class members managed to do the same thing - without the big snack bag that i had, and without the wirlwind of whingeing i created for myself :p
That dastardley programming assignment proved more taxing that i expected. why the hell did i think i could start AND finish that on the last day before the deadline?!? I always tell myself that im never going to do something dumb like that again, but history proves me wrong time and time again.
well anyway, to commemorate this 23 hour grand feat of mental endurance, i thought i would spend the 24th hour awake chatting with my dear friend Karen, who i've been wanting to visit for soo long now but havent had the chance.
she was busy hanging the clothes to dry (it was the first time it had been sunny for such a long time) so she couldnt talk long. She thought i should go to sleep instead on talking to her anyway, cos i sounded kinda crazy :p well, for a person that had studied 23 hours straight i had strangley wide awake and happy; i was telling her about the idea having of sex with Connie the canadian girl i was talking to on MSN. I mean, WTF?!? who talks about stuff like that?? fortunately my bizarre ranting managed to make her laugh (Karen has such a nice laugh), but she thought i should get some rest or i'd get sick.
I found it really hard to fall asleep. I devoted what little mental capacity i had to find a reason as to why i should go to sleep... and that had me conked out faster that you can say 'munky-moo'. The moment i awoke i groaned - two weeks ago i had never been able to stay up and do assignments the entire night. I now looked as though i'd be doing that a whole lot for the next couple of weeks :(
[ah dang its almost time to catch the train, and i havent finished saying what i have to say! i'll continue this tomorrow, or maybe the next day - i should devote some time tomorrow trying to explain to Karen that im not a crazy boy wanting to have relations with random canadian girls. Adios for now amigos...]
....
...
..
.
Ahh im back... Its now monday the 16th of May. Time seems to have really flown past so quickly...
recently i've been re-introduced to my cousin Jodie, which has come along great! well, she's more like a friend of the family than cousin but i've accepted her as part of the family.
 |
We go waay back, i guess we kinda grew up together. She was more like my elder sisters close mate, and i didnt know her too well. I dont recall any conversations we ever had, though back in the day i was very simple minded and didnt have very many deep conversations :p her and her sister have always been exceptionally cute - i remember having a bit of a crush on her little sister Vanessa, but thats a bust nowdays cos she's engaged and is said to act way more mature than jodie :s
but anyways, we got to know eachother a bit and she's really quite cool. she speaks her mind even when its about really bizarre stuff...
"maan, i got this rash on my leg that was making it all purple you know? and well yeah now its been creeping up onto my tummy...its really weird aye?!? hey you wanna look?"
"erm... how about no..."
 |
on saturday she came to her house with her son Andre and boyfriend Jel and they were really cool. the boyfriend also got along well with my mom and aunts which i thought was bizarre. usually they give the intial 'evil-eyes' to boyfriends/girlfriends.
jodie and i sat back and had a semi deep conversation about life; how she turned out the way she did, how she met her boi, and about her son Andre... i dunno, it was like we were always like that. and with the swapping of adresses, mobile and home phone numbers and emails, im sure she'' we'll continue being good friends.
deep conversations... that reminded me that i hadn't seen kristie lately...
Yesterday i was invited to dinner By Kristie and her family. I was so glad to see her; i hadnt seen her in a couple of weeks and i was starting to miss my friend (Karen if your reading this im going to try and visit you as well this wednesday before i have to do overnight study weeks again).
Kristie cooked a meal and she gave me a present she was holding for me since my birthday. We've decided that for my birthdays and christmas' K is going to get me each of the seven books from the 'Tomorrow, When The War Began' series by john marsden. I love those books and have always wanted to have the entire set. Thanks to K i now have no.'s 1 and 2 :)
Its so nice at her house. Her parents have strangely accepted me and welcomed me into their house. They're probably the only non-familial parental-type people i actually find it easy to communicate with. We talk about our days and i help them with any computer problems they may have. Gayle, K's mom, is a student like me, so we can relate on certain late night study session dilemmas. Her course sounds alot more fascinating than mine though.
something of growing concern lately is that they seem to like me more that K's boyfriend Aaron, and thats just wrong cos i dont suspect that Kristie and I will have a romantic relationship any time soon. She says im like a brother to her, and i dunno... i seem to feel comforted by that. K is one of those friends i wish to keep for a very long time, if not forever.
Ah Kristie... i remember when we first met... and that reminds me of another girl i used to care about. or maybe, someone i still do care about.
Im not going to mention her name here. We havent spoken in around three years now; usually i ask people if its okay to write about them in this blog. But... this thing is a journal; in a journal your supposed to write whats on your mind. And she's on my mind.
I've pressed hard on myself not to think of her anymore. But that hasnt worked so great. her memory always lingers in the back of my mind. Her friends are in my classes and they remind me of her. I cant find it in myself to talk to them. Sometimes i find it utterly ridiculous. There's not a day i dont regret losing her, treating her the way i did. sometimes i take extremely long showers, so long that the hot water runs dry, because the feeling it gives me - the inability to think about the world around you, the ability to wash all your sorrows down the drain - helps to keep the skeletons in my closet.
i've always thought that guys are naturally morons, and im a perfect example of this theory. I had a chance with the nicest, most polite, most 'right' girl i have ever met, and i totally messed it up. Till this day it remains one of the worst experiences i've ever had - and i think its reverted me back to shy mode, i notice it especially at uni.
I've wanted to talk to her so badly for such a long time. But now, when i think about it, what would i say? the thought of it makes me cold; i find it really un-nerving [is that a word??]. i figure that anything coming from me would make her sad. To see me, hear me, sense me... i remember that sad expression on her face...
anyways, i feel i could use one of those long showers right about now. im at uni though, and my gym membership expired a couple of days ago, so no useable showers in sight. so i'll have to close with a portion of this Sarah McLachlan song that seems to fit the mood..
"...Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it ok
There's always some reason to feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction, oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
They may be empty and weightless, and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight...."
...and if you were wondering - "why watch charmed ya big girly-girl?" - initially i had a massive crush on Alyssa Milano, tee hee yeah she mad it into my cutey celebrity list ;) but her power over me in waning, so today i wanted to watch it because the band 'The Donnas' are going to make a guest appearance. I saw them on the ad and i remember Fia telling me her brother thought they were cute. I wanted to see if that was true, so then maybe they can replace Alyssa. They have a catchy song, maybe that will help?
dude; i gotta get a girlfriend... ;p
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